Hash Songbook

Hash Song Book

Credit: I copied this somewhere, but don't remember where. Thanks, anyway

WHY ARE WE WAITING?
Melody - Come Let Us Adore Him

Why are we waiting,
Could be fornicating (masturbating, etc),
Oh, why are we waiting,
So fucking long, etc . . .

INTERNATIONAL HASH HYMN
Melody - Swing Low, Sweet Chariot
Note: gestures accompany words

I looked over Jordan and what did I see,
Coming for to carry me home,
A band of angels coming after me,
Coming for to carry me home.

CHORUS:
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home,
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home.

I'm sometimes up and sometimes down,
Comin' for to carry me home,
But still my soul feels heavenly bound.
Comin' for to carry me home.

If you get there before I do,
Coming for to carry me home,
Tell all my friends that I'm coming too,
Coming for to carry me home.
(repeat with variations: humming and motions only, silence and motions only, double-time)

OUR LAGER
Prayer

Our Lager
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk,
I will be drunk,
At home as in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the Beer, The Bitter, and the Lager,
Barmen.

THEY OUGHT TO BE PUBLICLY PISSED ON
Melody - My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean

They ought to be publicly pissed on,
They ought to be publicly shot,
They ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot,
Drink it down, down, down . . .

WHY WAS HE BORN SO BEAUTIFUL?
Melody - Itself

Why was he born so beautiful?
Why was he born at all?
He's no fuckin' use to anyone,
He's no bloody use at all.

They say he's a joy to his mother,
But he's a pain in the asshole to me,

He's fresh as a daisy,
He drives me crazy,

So drink it down, down, down . . .

WHY WAS SHE BORN A BITCH?
Melody - 1st verse: Itself
2nd verse: My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean

Why was she born so beautiful?
Why was she born a bitch?
She's no bloody use to anyone,
She's only got one tit.

She ought to be publicly pissed on,
She ought to be publicly shot,
She ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot.

So drink it down, down, down . . .

YESTERDAY
Melody - Yesterday
Contributed by ZiPpy, Pike's Peak H4

Yesterday,
All my muscles seemed to feel OK,
Now my body doesn't work today,
Oh I went hashing yesterday.

Muscles ache,
They'd be better if I'd stayed in bed,
Now it feels as if they're made of lead,
Wish I had stayed at home instead.

Why I ran that hash,
Was so rash,
But what the heck?
Now it's clear,
I'm a mere,
Physical wreck.

Bloodshot eyes,
And my tongue is twice its normal size,
It's at times like this I realize,
Hashing isn't all that wise.

Why I drank that beer,
Isn't clear,
It's just a blur.
I don't feel so young,
And my tongue,
Is lined with fur.

Yesterday,
Hashing seemed a healthy game to play,
Now my body is in disarray,
Oh I went hashing yesterday
(mmm-mm-mmm.....)

BESTIALITY IS BEST
CHORUS:
Bestiality's best, boys,
Bestiality's best - FUCK A WALLABY!
Bestiality's best, boys,
Bestiality's best.

WOODPECKER SONG
Melody - Dixie

I put my finger in the woodpecker's hole,
And the woodpecker said, "God bless my soul,
Take it out, take it out, take it out,
REMOVE IT!"

I removed my finger from the woodpecker's hole,
And the woodpecker said, "God bless my soul,
Put it back, put it back, put it back,
REPLACE IT!"

OTHER VERSES:
Replaced/turn it round/REVOLVE IT!
Revolved/turn it back/REVERSE IT!
Reversed/in and out/RECIPROCATE IT!
Reciprocated/slow it down/RETARD IT!
Retarded/once again/REPEAT IT!
Repeated/let it go/RELEASE IT!
Released/pull it out/RETRACT IT!
Retracted/take a whiff/REVOLTING!

YOGI BEAR SONG
Melody - Camptown Races
(Take turns leading verses)

There is a bear in the deep dark woods,
Yogi, Yogi,
There is a bear in the deep dark woods,
Yogi, Yogi Bear.

CHORUS (REPEAT PREVIOUS VERSE):
Yogi, Yogi Bear,
Yogi, Yogi Bear,
There is a bear in the deep dark woods,
Yogi, Yogi Bear.

Other verses:
Yogi has a little friend, Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo
Boo-Boo has a girlfriend, Cyndi, Cyndi
Yogi has a girlfriend, Suzi, Suzi
Cyndi has a shaven snatch, Grizzly, Grizzly
Cyndi wears crotchless undies, Teddy, Teddy
Cyndi likes it on the ice, Polar, Polar
Cyndi gets what she deserves, Pregnant, Pregnant
Suzi likes it up the rear, Dirty, Dirty
Suzi's boyfriend has no teeth, Gummi, Gummi
Suzi's snatch it smells like cheese, Camel, Camel
Suzi she has great big tits, More than, More than (I can bear)
Suzi gets four bits an hour, Jingle, Jingle
Cyndi's tampon has no string, Cotton, Cotton
Yogi didn't use a condom, Daddy, Daddy
Boo-Boo likes it upside down, Koala, Koala
Boo-Boo has a twelve-inch cock, Cindy's a lucky bear
Boo-Boo's only three feet tall, Yogi's a lucky bear
Boo-Boo likes it up the butt, Yogi's a lucky bear
Yogi didn't wipe his butt, Brown, Brown
Yogi uses Afro-Sheen, Black, Black
Yogi got a case of crabs, Itchy, Itchy
Yogi lights Kuwaiti farts, Saddam, Saddam
Boo-Boo likes to stroke his tool, Wanker, Wanker
Yogi also likes young boys, Poofter, Poofter
Song ender: Yogi he has HIV, Dying, Dying . . .

ALOUETTE
Melody - Alouette
(Unsuspecting female volunteer needed)

CHORUS:
Alouette, gentille Alouette,
Alouette je te plumerai.

Leader: Does she have ze stringy hair?
All: Oui, she has ze stringy hair.
Leader: Stringy hair,
All: Stringy hair,
Leader: Alouette! Aah, aah, aah, aah . . . (chorus)

Leader: Does she have ze furrowed brow?
All: Oui, she has ze furrowed brow,
Leader: Furrowed brow,
All: Furrowed brow,
Leader: Stringy hair,
All: Stringy hair,
Leader: Alouette! Aah, aah, aah, ahh . . . (chorus)

Wooden eye (Yes I would!) . . .
Broken nose . . .
Blow job lips . . .
Two buck teeth . . .
Double chin . . .
Swinging tits . . .
Beer belly . . .
Bulbous butt . . .
Furry thing . . .

Leader: Now isn't she a nice-a girl?
All: Oui, she is a nice-a girl,
Leader: Nice-a girl,
All: Nice-a girl,
Leader: Alouette! Aah, aah, aah . . .

Chorus

Leader/all: How I love her (repeat all)

JOHN BROWN'S PENIS
Melody - Battle Hymn of the Republic

John Brown's penis was a bloody awful sight,
Mucked about with gonorrhoea and buggered up with shite,
The agonies of syphilis kept him awake all night,
But he still went rogering along.

CHORUS:
Oh, the hoary old seducer,
Oh, the hoary old seducer,
Oh, the hoary old seducer,
He still went rogering along.

The color of his water was sort of orange-ale,
Little gonorrhoea germs within his scrotum played,
In spite of these inconveniences, he went on undismayed,
Yes he still went rogering along.

Girls would come from miles around to his baronial hall,
To see his giant penis and one remaining ball,
And view the rows of maidenheads all hung around the wall,
And he still went rogering along.

LLOYD GEORGE
Melody - Onward Christian Soldiers

Lloyd George knew my father, father knew Lloyd George;
Lloyd George knew my father, father knew Lloyd George;
Lloyd George knew my father, father knew Lloyd George;
Lloyd George knew my father, father knew Lloyd George;
(ad nauseam)

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS # 1
Melody - The Twelve Days of Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me:
Twelve hairy harlots,
Eleven lecherous lesbians,
Ten tired trollops,
Nine naughty nuns,
Eight useless eunuchs,
Seven sex-starved sisters,
Six convicted vicars,
Five choir boys!
Four windmill girls,
Three boy scouts,
Two virgin queens,
And a pervert in a pantry.

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS # 2
by Flying Booger, 1996

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My GM gave to me:
Twelve streams a'leaping,
Eleven unmarked bad trails,
Ten two-mile back checks,
Nine nests of hornets,
Eight railroad trestles,
Seven outraged farmers,
Six chain-link fences,
Five neck-deep swamps,
Four clumps of shiggy,
Three forest rangers,
Two down-downs,
And a long sit on a block of ice.

BIRTHDAY SONG
Melody - Here's to _____, He's a Blue
Composed by Flying Booger for Scratch 'n' Sniff's 30th

Here's to (name), she's true blue,
It's her birthday, boo hoo hoo,
She is (age) if she's a day,
Wishes she were younger,
But there's no way!
Drink it down, down, down . . .

Anthem of the HHH
Tune of “Land of Hope and Glory” Come on, all you wankers
Lift your beers and shout
We are Roman hashers
What we got, we flaunt
Close a narrow circle
Gather round the beer
Hashing, wanking, drinking
That is why we're here
Hashing, wanking, drinking
That is why we're here

The Milan (spit) Harriettes song.
By Su Boyle RMBH3 in occasion of the Italian Nash Hash 2001
"Hey Mr Taliban"
Tune: Hey Mr Tallyman Words: Milan Harriettes

Hey Mr Taliban, Show us your banana
Allah's coming and we wanna come too.
Hey Mr Taliban, Show us your banana
Allah's coming and we wanna come too.

Aaaaaahhh Aaahh Ali Akbar
If you're coming then we wanna come too.
Aaaaaahhh Aaahh Ali Akbar
If you're coming then we wanna come too.

The night is short and your dress is long
Allah's coming and we wanna come too.
Lift it up and show us your thong
Allah's coming and we wanna come too.

Aaaaaahhh Aaahh Ali Akbar
If you're coming then we wanna come too.
Aaaaaahhh Aaahh Ali Akbar
If you're coming then we wanna come too.

6 inch 7 inch 8 inch tool
Is that the extension of Allah's rule?
Expose it, disclose it and give it a wank
Is it weapon enough to fight the mighty Yank?

Aaaaaahhh Aaahh Ali Akbar
If you're coming then we wanna come too.
Aaaaaahhh Aaahh Ali Akbar
If you're coming then we wanna come too.

The Stars and Stripes and the Union Jack
Send us your anthrax and we'll send it right back
You fucked us now we're gonna fuck you
Bush is coming and we're gonna come too.

Aaaaaahhh, Aaaaaahhh Aaaaaahhh Aaahh Ali Akbar
Bush is coming and we're gonna come too.

Osama (come out of hiding) Osama (hear the glad tidings) Osama
You think you fucked us
But we ARE GONNA SCREW YOU!

Will the real Bin Laden please stand up .........

Hello Penis (From the Brussels Manneke Piss HHH Site) - Why not try it sometimes?